Flashback

The night was austere and quiet, the rhythmic chirping of the birds and the squeaking of the insects obviously audible. The sounds of nature were also contorted with the distant rumbling of traffic, assembling a weird but nice orchestral music. I walked through the dark alley that was only lit by a few flickering and dull streetlamps, briefly pausing to enjoy the billowing zephyrs that soothed my aura and made me euphoric all over. The full moon that was hanging on its zenith, made the surroundings even eerie. Heartbeat racing, I quickened my pace, determined to leave this uncanny alley.

            The hushed surroundings were suddenly disturbed, as a boisterous revving of a motorcycle entered my auditory canal. A millisecond later, the motorcycle, which I recognized as a Honda 350EX, sped past me. Without warning, a lithe hand flashed out and wrenched away my briefcase, making me stumble. Quick as lightning, I regained my balance and swung both my hands up and made a desperate grasp for my briefcase. The propinquity at that exact moment was totally crucial. Fortunately, I managed to circle my fingers around the sling of my briefcase and I started tugging with all my might. I wasn’t preparing to lose my briefcase as there were lots of important and confidential documents in my laptop.

            Precedent to the following moments, I was a blur of motion, tugging against the turbo of the engine as the biker and his sidekick tried to get away from me with their loot. Suddenly my six sense tingled. Something felt wrong with my proximity with the baddies. Instantaneously, something white and shiny flashed out. With a sickening lurch, my eyes recognized it as a Glock pistol. Without a second of hesitation, my superbly developed survival instinct kicked in. I dodged out of the pistol’s aim and attempted a kick at the pistol-wielding-guy’s back.

            My kick never made contact with the guy’s back. The bad guy must have supreme reflexes, as he swung the pistol in a wide arc and squeezed of two shots. Suddenly the time slowed down perceptibly. The 9mm bullet exited the nozzle of the pistol and travelled speedily, closing the gap between the gun and my abdomen. I gazed disbelievingly and both my hands and legs were frozen stiff. Then I felt it. The bullet shredded my skin, muscle, viscera as it impaled itself in my abdomen. It felt like my body was on fire. I was oblivious of the fact that the baddies were speeding away with my laptop as my body flew backwards and I collapsed onto the ground, my abdomen heaving. Hot, balmy blood spurted copiously from the gunshot wound and trickled down to the ground, staining it and turning it into a dark shade of red. The whole moment was terribly excruciating.

            In the melancholy moment, I was surprisingly alert that I was losing consciousness rapidly. Groaning in pain, I fumbled my pockets and fished out my I-phone. I punched in the speed dial and waited patiently, calming my throbbing nerves.

            “Yes?” a lazy voice greeted me.

           “Dad,” I gasped out, my voice barely audible. “I’ve been shot. I’m near Walton road. I——” I paused awhile. My father’s voice was instantaneously frantic and alert.

            “Hang on there, kiddo. I’ll be there in no time. Don’t give up, ’kay? Hang on!” he was literally yelling. “Okay,” I grunted, unconsciousness almost overwhelming me. “I’m coming!” he shouted for the last time and killed the call.

            “I love you, dad!” I whispered into the dead receiver and felt my mind slip into the sea of unconsciousness.

————————————————————

I had the inebriated feeling that I’d been asleep for a very long time ----- my body was stone stiff, like I hadn’t moved once through all the time either. My mind was dazed and slow; strange, colourful dreams --- dreams and nightmares --- swirled dizzily around the inside of my head. They were so vivid and difficult to diffract. The horrible and the heavenly all mixed together in a bizarre jumble. There was a sharp impatience and fear, both part of the frustrating dream where your feet can’t move fast enough……. And there were plenty of monsters, red-eyed fiends that were all the more ghastly for their genteel civility. My ligaments and joints started to harden as the synovial fluids lessened. The dream was still strong ----- I could still remember every single detail. My body had frozen for a long, long time, as if I had signed up for cryogenics and the idea of waking up seemed pathetically abstractive.

Thud, thud, thud, thud. I can still feel my heart beating. Does that mean that I am still alive? The Bible doesn’t explain about life after death, or does it?

“Steven~ Steven~” I wrenched back my eyelids immediately. Although soft and soothing, the sound possessed the unique ability in waking me up. I swiveled my head and glanced around frantically. Everything is a blur. I was temporarily blinded by the bright light, and it took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust and diffract the light. I was slumped at a fluffy surface that looked like clouds.

“Steven~ Steven~” the chanting continued. My heart pounded. I scrutinized my surroundings even harder. Finally, I saw it. It was a pale figure, too pale for a human, and was wearing a denim jacket and onyx pants. There was a glowing halo above it, and there were two rotating wheels, each beneath its legs and it began to glide over towards me. I took an involuntary step backwards and scrutinized it even harder. There was something of the figure that reminded me of somebody in particular. With a sickening thud, I realized who it was, and my mind reeled in recognition. The figure, which I’d not recognized initially, was a duplicate of myself.

“Steven~” ‘Steven’ chanted as he glided towards me. I examined his face. The contours of his face and the colour of his eyes were identical to mine. I was astounded.

“Who are you?” I croaked, my voice gibberish.

‘Steven’ fixed his ultramarine eyes on mine and spoke, in a deep-toned voice. “I am The Angel of Death, one of the long-forgotten characters in Ancient Mythology. Some people imagine me as a myth, not realistic, but, yet I still exist. I can take any human form I wish, as you can see, I had taken your form for the moment, and I can change back——” ‘Steven’ started to morph and mutate, the familiar contours and colours changing and evolving into a grotesque figure, which started to form a incredibly beautiful and elegant girl, who was around her eighteens. “——to my original form, which is, like what you are seeing now.” She spoke and blushed delicately.

“W-what’s your actual name then?” I enquired, stuttering a bit as I was a bit stunned at her beauty. “My name, which is rarely spoken in Ancient Mythology, is Piarra,” she gazed at me intensely and continued, her voice soft and soothing. “And I am here to show you the imperative moments of your entire life, and judge whether you are going to heaven or you’re going to be banished to the depths of Tartarus.” She ended her speech with an eerie voice that sent chills down my back.          

My pulse quickened and I tried to calm it down. Piarra’s words had taken its effect on me. My heart pounded furiously, and I asked, “What’s my fate then?” Piarra glanced at me with disgust, and I knew straightaway that something was bad, really bad. Before I could hyperventilate, Piarra fished out a wand which had a yellow star atop it, and with a flick of her wand, the entire surroundings quieted instantly, as if someone had hit the ‘Pause’ button.

Then, as if a volcano was erupting, a deep rumbling sound was heard, and four identical rectangular walls emerged dramatically from the cumulonimbus clouds and settled down to build a fortress surrounding us both.

“This wall,” Piarra gestured at the wall facing us, “Is the Early Wall. It shows you the early stages of your life, from the day you’re born to your child days. This wall,” Piarra pointed to the east wall, “Is the Intermediate Wall. It shows you the days of your teens. The Middle Wall and the Elderly Wall,” Piarra flicked her wand to the west and south walls, “shows you the days of your middle ages and your aging days, which will not be in use.” I grimaced. The fact that I’d died young was simply excruciating to think about.

 Piarra then wound her lithe arm around my waist and gestured for me to sit down, which I obliged. To my amazement, there was a pair of comfy couches, which had appeared out of nowhere. Glancing at Piarra with full esteem, I settled my pinkish butt on the couch, and exhaled a gasp of satisfaction. As if on cue, the sofa started to massage my aching back, and it all felt like heaven. Piarra gave me a soft squeeze on my biceps and I snapped back to reality, only to see Piarra smiled sweetly at me, her angelic face innocent. Before I could protest, the surroundings walls suddenly came into life——

——and I wasn’t situated on the clouds anymore. I was standing on the balcony of my hostel. Wait, that isn’t my hostel at all. It’s my house, the one I stayed for twelve whole years with my family. A wave of nostalgia whipped me in the face, and I stumbled. Piarra steadied my arm with a strong grip, and spoke in a strong voice, “Steady, my warrior. You are here to watch your life cycle. Don’t be afraid as I’ll always by your side to guide you.”

Her appearance and touch not only surprised me, and also gave me strength and adrenaline. I steadied my footing and held her gaze steadily. “Yes I will, my Princess.” I whispered in a serious voice that made us both burst out laughing. Her giggle sounded like the musical tinkling of the xylophone, which soothed my ears.

A cry suddenly brought me back to the shore of reality. Piarra and I swiveled our heads and glanced towards the source of sound. The scene that befell my eyes was familiar, yet hard to remember. A small toddler, whom I recognized as myself around 18 months of age, was crawling across the wooden tiling and giggling constantly. The whole prospect was totally idyllic and serene.

“Ssssss…. . .” a sinister hissing sound was suddenly heard, a sound that blended into the rustling of the leaves, and a sound that I immediately recognized as the hissing of a cobra. My stomach churned in trepidation. “NO!” I yelled and pitched forward, as the cobra stroke. I grabbed for the snake’s throat, only to pass right THROUGH it and crash painfully onto the ground. I grimaced and watched as the cobra lodged its fangs onto ‘my’ hand and started pumping venom into ‘my’ bloodstream, unable to help.

“Steven, stand up,” Piarra laid a hand on my arm and pulled me up. “We are here to witness, and not to interfere. We cannot change the past, so——” her speech was interrupted by the crescendo of ‘my’ crying. As I tore away my gaze from Piarra and focused on the scene that unfolded itself in front of me, I saw that the cobra had dislodged its fangs from ‘my’ hand and it began to slither away to the cover of undergrowth.  

The younger me started to stifle his sobs and his face started to turn into a light shade of green. A cobra’s sting was life-threatening for an adult, not to say an 18-month old toddler. But what Piarra said next was a bolt from the blue.

“You escaped death once, you know,” I glanced at her, eyes wide. Her expression was unreadable, and her gaze was distant.  “Hades once wanted to kill a dozen of toddlers because of his sudden outrage, and you were one of those unfortunate chosen ones,” she paused for a second and lowered her head. When she continued, her voice was barely audible. “I sensed there was something special in you, something that I recognized as gallantry, and I had faith that you’ll turn into a heroic warrior. Thus I begged Hades to set you free from his wrath, which he finally granted, not before sending me to complete one of the Labours,” she glanced up and met me fully in the eye. “The Labour that I managed to accomplish fortunately.”

As I glanced back at ‘me’ I found out that the snakebite marks were perceptibly fading, and ‘my’ cherubic face gradually changed back into the normal reddish lively state.

I was traumatized by her affection towards me and the sacrifice she made bravely just to save my little life. I admired her daring to confront Hades, and her virtuoso in completing the Labour. Her valour she showed impressed me perceptibly, and engraved itself in my memory for perpetuity.

“Piarra,” I cupped my hands on her face, and was thrilled that she didn’t resist me. “I have only two words to say to you. Although short and precise, I still wish it comprises all my intensity. Thank you.” I held my gaze firmly and we stayed like that for quite a long time. The entire moment was indescribable. Piarra broke the stare first, as she looked down and murmured, “You’re welcome.” She fished out her wand and flicked it——

——and I was standing in a joyous primary school compound. “Come with me,” Piarra ushered me to follow her. We sprinted across the not-so-vast school compound and came to a stop in front of a boisterous classroom. With a wave of recognition, I realized that the classroom was the one I studied in when I was in primary school. Scrutinizing the wave of children, I spotted myself standing behind the classroom. Walking closer, with Piarra by my side, I realized that the younger me was flanked by a few burly bullies and was sneering.

“Puny little sissy, you can’t even dare to take off your panties and poo, you’ll just poo in your panties!” and the crowd roared in laughter. Jeers and boos were heard constantly from the crowd. I focused on the ‘bully magnet’ and saw that the little guy was crying hysterically, his face buried in his hands. His hair was rumpled, and his school uniform was torn and ragged.

“You were a school bully when you were eleven, a head bully, to be exact,” Piarra’s voice was monotonous, and I could sense a tinge of disappointment in her voice. “This little guy, whose name was Gerald, was your target since you became a bully. He was physically and mentally bullied, and his soul and aura was terribly wounded. Whenever he returned home, he’ll throw tantrums and try to suffocate himself by burying his head in a pillow. Until one day, when he couldn’t bear it anymore, let’s see what happened,” Piarra waved her wand a little and the image blurred.

 On the next moment, Piarra and I were following Gerald home. Upon reaching his house, he flung open the door with a loud ‘bang’ and threw his bag away. Then, he retrieved a long rope from a cabinet and tied the rope to the fan. Immediately an inauspicious feeling started to build up in my chest and I knew what was going to happen next. As I watched on with agonizing eyes, Gerald tied a noose to his neck and kicked the chair beneath him that supported his weight. “NO!!!!” I yelled desperately perceptibly anguished. The image of Gerald dangling from the rope——

——disappeared and  I was looking into the sapphire eyes of Piarra’s.

“Just because you desired a moment of entertainment, a moment of power-wielding euphoria, you caused a young, innocent soul to obliterate itself. You never thought of that before, and you even shrugged callously when you heard about Gerald’s death. You were just so malicious, did you realize that?” Piarra was shouting now, and I could see tears in her eyes. “Answer me, Steven. DID YOU??!!!” Piarra cried.

The surroundings were hushed and I could hear the heaving of Piarra’s chest perceptibly. “You disappointed me, my Warrior.” She whispered.

Sighing, I tried my best to come up with an articulated apology. “I’m sorry, my Princess. I’ve failed you miserably. Mission failed. It’s my entire fault. I’ve been too big-headed all the time. I am terribly sorry.”

Piarra waved away my words dismissively as if I was an annoying fly. Sniffing disdainfully, she waved her wand again——

——and I found myself back home. We were situated in the kitchen this time, and I could hear the indistinct voice of quarreling. Exchanging a glance with Piarra, I sprinted into the dining room. What entered my spectrum was more familiar than the previous few, as it happened just 5years ago, when I was 13 years old.

              “You’ve had enough, Steve, that’s it——your mobile phone will be confiscated for three whole months, and the period could be extended if you still do not feel repentant!” my mom was yelling.

The younger me shouted back in protest, “NO! I won’t give you my freaking mobile phone and that’s it. Case closed!” as I stomped away.

“You stand right where you are, Steven Alberto Loque!” My mom commanded, her voice trembling. Examining her face, I could see that she was on the verge of tears.

‘I’ froze in my tracks and turned my head deliberately to face her. “You’re ordering me, mom?” ‘I’ asked in a dangerous voice.

“Y-yes.” My mother replied, her voice taut probably because of the tension.

“Fine.” I snapped and winding my hand back in a wide arc, I let it go with all my might, and sent my mobile phone flying over to my mother. It struck her right on the forehead with a sickening crunch, and my mother’s head whipped back violently.

The next moment, as I watched on speechlessly, featured my mother fainting onto the ground. The younger me was perceptibly horrified by his own action, as he rushed over to my mother’s side, examining her forehead. The whole moment was totally poignant and depressing.

Instinctively, I rushed forward to help, but only to knock head-first onto a transparent wall. Groaning, I turned back to face Piarra, who watched at the scene that played itself in front of her, completely expressionless. I sighed.

“I know, this is my fault again——

            “Shut up.” Piarra said quietly. “Your foolish and imprudent actions caused your mother to be injured seriously, and you just want to say sorry. Just a simple sorry cannot make your mother as good as new. Think of it, Steven. Think of all the moral values you have learned. Do any of them teach you to act irrationally? Do any of them teach you to injure your parents on purpose? Yeah, the stupidest idiot would know the answer is ‘NO’, with capital letters. But you still do it, Steven. Did I make the wrong choice to save you from Hades’s wrath? Did I?” Piarra asked profusely, glancing at me the whole time.

            Dipping my head in absolute shame, I shuffled my legs and debated whether to beg for forgiveness or to preserve my dignity. But before I could attempt either deed, Piarra whipped out her wand in a flourish and not before giving me a contemptuous glare, she waved her wand——

——and I was standing on a rocky slope of a hill. After a moment of hesitation, I realized that it was the venue for the hill-climb competition I participated last year.

“Why did you bring me here?” I enquired, remembering that I didn’t do anything wrong during the hill-climb, except maybe killing a dozen of ants during the endeavour up the hill. “Watch.” was Piarra’s only answer.

Thus, I stayed along with Piarra to watch what she meant for me to see. To my surprise, as I examined Piarra’s facial expression, she was in quite a good mood, which was a large margin of difference with her mood in the last two flashbacks. Her face was flushed, the vermillion tinge on her cheeks made her gorgeous as ever. Her lips tugged a little as the beginning of a smile. Maybe, I thought. Things are changing for the optimistic side.

Time flew like a river would rush down a waterfall. The minuscule fragments of time littered the entire landscape but still, nothing arrived or changed. My stomach started to churn in trepidation. Had my subconscious mind had been erroneous? Are things still on the appalling side? Had the sight of Piarra’s sudden change of mood been a delusion? Uncountable questions swirled around in my mind, making me nauseous.

When I thought I was about to faint of boredom and inauspiciousness, the faint silhouette of a human appeared in my peripheral vision. As I scrutinized the figure harder, I recognized the figure as Donald Herald, the leading runner. All came into focus, as I remembered what happened. My heart pounded in relieve, and I knew Piarra’s abrupt vary of mood and her intention to bring me here. Finally, all ends in a blissful ending.

I watched contently at the events that replayed itself in front of me. Donald, careless, klutzy Donald, suddenly tripped over a stray rock when he wandered to far towards the edge. Apparently stupefied, he made no attempt to get back his equilibrium as he fell over the edge. His luck held, as he managed to grab a strong root with his hands and there he dangled precariously, his body inches from falling away into the abyss of the cliff. Shock rippled through his torso and he shrieked shrilly, hoping desperately that someone would come by coincidentally and save him before his hands gave way and he was swallowed by the void beneath him.

            Then I saw myself, the younger me, trotting forward and upon hearing the loud shrieks, stiffened perceptibly and hurried towards the source of the voice. When ‘I’ saw Donald hanging perilously on the root, without a moment of hesitation and despite the lassitude and lethargy that clung like an annoying tick to ‘my’ body, ‘I’ leaned downwards and yelled, “Grab my hands!” Donald stared up at ‘me’ like a vulnerable duckling and with his free hand; he grabbed ‘my’ hand.

            Cursing, ‘I’ heaved with all my might. Donald weighed a hundred pounds and he was famous for his substantial reputation. Feeling as if ‘my’ body could break into a zillion pieces, ‘I’ was tempted to let go of his hand and save ‘my’ own butt. Suddenly, a thought, a solitary thought broke into ‘my’ subconscious mind and an abrupt wave of adrenaline override all the stupor. Thus with a sudden burst of energy ‘I’ gave in all ‘my’ strength and gave a mighty heaved, which probably saved both Donald’s and ‘my’ lives. The heave sent both Donald and me flying backwards towards the safety zone. Then I saw the younger me surrendered into the wave of unconsciousness.

            As usual, the image disappeared and I whirled around to face Piarra. To my expectations, Piarra beamed at me, her flawless face glowing and incredibly lovely. I smiled back at her and waited for her to speak.

            “You didn’t disappoint me this time, my warrior,” I brightened at her revitalizing words. “Instead, you impressed me with your wonderful, superb gallantry and valour. You could bear the profound and imperative conscientiousness of two precious lives, and even though you were almost submerged by the sea of exhaustion and fatigue, and you still held on to the thin chance of saving you both. You are such a courage-filled warrior, and your impossible audacity and impudence couldn’t be competed to any other human being in existence. I shower you with absolute praise and extol, my warrior, for you succeeded in the grapple with Grim Reaper. Continue with your wonderful deeds, my warrior!” Piarra exclaimed, her voice enthusiastic.

            Gratified towards her praise, I embraced her and felt her slender body mold into me. When the embrace ended, she spoke, her voice soft and solemn.

            “Now is the time we part, as I’ve shown you the highlights of your life. When we part, you’ll not be able to see me again, for this is disallowed,” there was a tinge of sadness in her voice. “I may appear in your dreams, your fictional visions, but never in real life. So, I guess, this is the part where we say our goodbyes.” Piarra finished her little speech and sniffed.

            This was the moment I dreaded the most. I’d expected with consternation that my time with Piarra was limited, but never anticipated it to be so short. Struggling to keep my voice calm, I spoke, “My dear Piarra, princess, Angel of Death, I appreciate your willingness to show me the moments of my life, and to risk your life to save me from Hades’s wrath. I am repentant penitent for all the mistakes and blunders that I’d made throughout my life, no matter major or minor, and I promise not to repeat them again. Again, I express my gratitude towards you, Piarra, and please forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you, and sorry.” I was proud that my voice didn’t waver, and I was able to perform an articulated speech, although my heart was sick with longing, a longing to stay with Piarra for eternity.

            “I accept your thanks and apology. For the meantime, we must part,” Piarra gazed at me with desire, and I returned the gaze with the similar intensity. “Farewell, my warrior, and fare well in your following lifetime. You may choose to forget me, or to remember me forever; it’s all up to you.” When I started to protest that I would never forget her, she silenced me with a finger. What she did next would be etched into my memory for perpetuity.

            Piarra tiptoed up and deliberately, she leaned towards me and kissed me gently on the lips. Her kiss was sweet and exploring, not tentative, and I grabbed her tightly and kissed her back. The kiss lasted for thirty seconds, but to me it felt like five. I yearned for more, knowing that it was impossible. When our lips parted, she gazed directly into my eyes and gasped, “This was the first time I’d kissed a human, and I find it soothing and comfy. I love you, Steven, my brave warrior. Although it’s a must to part with you, but I will always remember you. Let me give you my blessing and wish you ultimate luck in your following life.” She said and kissed me on my forehead lightly.

            Whispering back, “I love you too, Piarra, and I’ll never forget you.” We embraced for the last time, and I whispered, “Goodbye, Piarra, may my blessing accompany you in your following missions.”

            “Goodbye, Steven, and may you soar high in your career, your love life and your health. May luck assist you to achieve higher results.” Piarra sobbed and stepped back, wand in hand.

            As she waved her wand, I felt myself fade into unconsciousness. The only thing I felt was the balmy tears that trickled down my cheek.

————————————————————

            “Wake, darling, wake, I beg you.” A crying voice jolted me back to consciousness. As I opened my eyes deliberately, I found my mom and dad crying uncontrollably, along with my relatives. My heart ached as I saw the scar on my mom’s forehead.

            “I am awake now, mom,” My voice sounded like a toad’s croak, and I cleared my throat. The pain in my abdomen was still throbbing, and I struggled to reach up and hug my mom, only to be held still by my dad. “No, dear, you’re convalescing, and what you need is rest. Don’t strain yourself to do anything.” His voice broke a little, a visible fact that he had been crying.

            “Dad, mom…” I sniffed as tears trickled down my cheek. “What’s it, darling?” mom and dad asked simultaneously. “I love you both. And I’m so terribly sorry of my wrongdoings in the past two decades. I swear to change my evil behavior——”

            My dad silenced me with his finger. “I think you hit your head pretty hard, so please rest, only that you’ll recover,” my dad said sternly, but I sensed a tinge of understanding in his voice. “Dad……” I protested, exasperated.  I fumbled to utter a well-articulated apology. “Sorry, mom and dad, I and really sorry and I will change my behavior from now on. Please kindly acknowledge my apology and forgive me.” I glanced at them straight in their eyes.

            Sobbing, my mom spluttered, “It’s alright, darling, don’t worry. You’ll always be forgiven, my son.” She leaned down and kissed me softly on the forehead. My father squeezed my hand tightly. I closed my eyes, contented, my heart strumming peacefully. Finally, I thought, my puzzle is complete.

            But one single piece was still missing——Piarra, as it will always be. Although I understand that we will never meet anymore, but she will always be the angel in my heart, no matter what.